Drabble 89 – La Douleur Exquise

There are many kinds of wanting, and I’m familiar with most of them.

There’s wanting something superficial, a craving for ice cream or a trendy hat. There’s deeper want, for fulfillment or acceptance or companionship. There’s terrible want, jealousy and envy and desire turned sour. None of them are pleasant.

But want, in my experience, is also a drive. I’m ambitious and driven and a workaholic because I want something, sometimes recognition, sometimes validation, sometimes just enough money to make me feel secure. I work because I want. I push myself further because there’s something just out of reach, and if I stretch a bit more I might be able to grab it.

I say might because I think I’m beginning to realize that there is nothing tangible to grab, there. It keeps darting just out of my reach but I keep chasing it like a cat with a laser pointer. Is that a bad thing? Hmm. I don’t think I’m the right person to ask.

Anyway, here’s a drabble.